R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
