We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
