You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
