Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
