Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
