You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
