uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
