okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
