dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
