Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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