I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
