the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
