he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
