we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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