And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
