I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
