she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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