I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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