I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize