At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The air was thick with penises
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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