So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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