Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
