Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
