What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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