When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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