My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
