apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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