I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
