Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
