Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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