That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize