he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
