I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
