He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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