hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
