I'm really into asian looking animals
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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