wanna go halves on a baby?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
