Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
