I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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