this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize