the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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