Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
