He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
