I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
