we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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