@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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