Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
