being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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