Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize