Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
