Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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