We won't sleep together?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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