im about as happy as oj after his trial
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
