And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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