i don't like sucking hair
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
