You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Randomize
