i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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