I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
