Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
