Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
