Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
