CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
