I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
