I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
