***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
